of emotions. It's quite a culture shock just being on the ship. I
heard that going on this trip required getting out of your comfort
zone-a lot. To my surprise I found out that the biggest challenges
I've faced have been aboard the ship, not in foreign countries.
On this trip so far I've thought about my best friends at Ithaca
everyday. I knew I was really blessed to have them as friends, and
realized that it must've been God that brought us together because I
couldn't imagine having a greater bond and closeness for anyone else.
Going into this trip I started wondering and became a little skeptical
about how I could possibly bond with girls like I did in Ithaca. I
just didn't see how it could get better and knew that we were all so
similar-and such a unique kind. Observing and interacting with people
at Ithaca over the past couple years made me realize truly how unique
we are and really how blessed I was that they were my friends. I
started to really wonder...will there be girls like that on the ship??
Could there really be?
So I got here, and I've never met so many friendly people. It's a
whole new world here. Imagine this: you walk down the hallways, and
you look people in they eye who you've never met before, give them a
big smile and say Hi!..maybe even "How are you?" Now you may laugh,
but these acts are unheard of at Ithaca. Everyone's eyes go straight
to the ground to avoid "awkward eye contact" with someone you don't
know. Here on the ship, we're all a family, and everyone is friendly.
It's so great! I love it!
Now you may think, well perfect! No problem making the best of
friends right off the bat right? Well...heres the thing. We're
always eating meals with different people, hanging out with different
people, and there are always an abundance of people around.
Everywhere! Good luck finding a place to be alone! I'm a social person
and this is the perfect situation for me a lot of the time. But the
thing is, I've found that its very hard to sit down and have a 1 on 1
conversation with someone and especially having multiple 1 on 1
conversations with the same person. This is how you build close
friendships. This is where the whole getting out of my comfort zone
comes in. My comfort zone=having long 1 on 1 conversations with
someone, really getting to know them, and quickly becoming close to
them. I really value close friendships. They're what makes me the
happiest. Unbelievable how hard it is to accomplish this task on the
ship. It's hard to click and bond with people. It's hard to find
people who are like you and who you're compatible with, and the reason
is because its hard to have a conversation longer than 3 minutes with
one person when there are at least 50 people in every room. Usually
you bond with people one on one, become friends, and then hang out in
groups. We've fast forwarded to group time-all of the time.
I had a couple days where I was pretty frustrated about this. I was
really missing talking with my girls from Ithaca for hours and
hours...Going to bed late at night because the conversation was way
more important than sleep. I was a little Ithaca-homesick.
Now I don't want to give off the wrong impression. I really have
bonded with Andrea, Katie, my roommate Julie, and last night I had a
great bonding time with one of my "suitemates," Lindsay. They're all
wonderful, have the same morals and similar personality to me and I've
really been blessed to meet them. (It's just not the same, instant
"click" I felt I had with my Ithaca friends when we first met (I was
spoiled)and like I said, its impossible to have regular 1 on 1s with
the same person). I've spoken to each and everyone of them about this
(having a hard time clicking with people, and missing the close bonds
with friends at home), and they have all felt the same exact way! The
thing is that its very overwhelming being around 600 people
constantly, and always meeting new people. It's exhausting! It's not
comfortable a lot of the time. So often we want to just sit down and
be with friends we've known for a long time and who won't think we're
uninteresting if we don't say anything at dinner, because we're
tired. Here, you always have to be chipper, energized and
interesting! (which is sooo exhausting and challenging when the ship
is rocking you to sleep every stinking second!) Another thing is we've
been stuck on the ship for 8 days (and only have 2 classes a day).
There's a whole lot of time for your mind to wander, analyze,
overanalyze, think, and think!
So yesterday I thought and I thought. I had some coffee and I analyzed
the situation some more. Last night, I went to the 5th deck and looked
at the beautiful stars, the bright moon and the ocean and just spent
time by myself and with God. I then realized how important alone time
is and how lacking I'd been of it. With this thinking and quiet time,
I realized a lot. I realized things aren't supposed to go exactly how
you picture them to be. I'm not supposed to be comfortable all of the
time on this trip, and I don't want to be, because I know I'll grow
and change for the better the more I get out of my comfort zone. As
much as I'm used to having these beautiful close connections with
people, its ok if I don't find that right away on this trip. I've
been thinking about God regularly, and you know what, He needs to be
first. Not friends. And its so often I don't make time for Him because
I make friends and having fun the priority. Last year I got lazy and
just didn't make enough time for Him. Lately I've been craving it, not
pushing it aside. Yesterday having that quiet time, looking at this
beautiful creation-somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, was just
indescribable. I all of a sudden became so at peace, and was reminded
that His plan is what I want, not mine. I don't know what's best for
me-He does, and I can already see myself changing and growing.
Realizing this has given me such joy the past couple of days. I
really wanted to share with you-whoever is reading-what was going on
in my head. I'm really at peace knowing that God's in control-not
me. It's not up to me who I meet and when I meet people who change my
life. That happens in Gods time. Patience is important. Know that
God knows what He's doing. He's in control. He knows what's best. So
have peace! And as Sammy would sing "don't worry, about a thing. Cuz
every little thing is gonna be alright." :)
P.S. Remember the waiter that was adorable and said he was having a
wonderful day because of the Big Guy? Yesterday he told me to never
stop smiling. I decided to make a card for him on his birthday
(yesterday), and tell him how grateful I was of his joy and love for
God that's so contagious. When I gave it to him he goes, "From my
smiling friend." Pounds my fist and says "One love!" What a cool guy!
One more day left on the ship and then its Ghana time! I'm doing a
homestay with all 3 of my roommates and 2 others. On the first day
we'll be traveling to a home 3 hours away and will be helping a
family, visiting an orphanage and helping out at a school (maybe even
teaching?). I cannot wait for the next experience that awaits me.
Love and blessings from almost Africa! <3
This is a picture of me studying yesterday for my Popular Music in
World Cultures class. I don't think you can beat this study spot!
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