It was 2013 and I was fresh out of college. I attended school as a Communication Management and Design Major. I chose this major because you could do a lot with it, event planning being one of them, and quite frankly I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted to do. The only thing I felt extremely passionate about was performing. Singing and acting. I looked at some schools’ Musical Theatre programs and got discouraged when I heard the ratio of students accepted and not.
I was the lead in my high school musicals for my 3 last years of high school, but I didn’t have the confidence that I had what it took. I thought to myself, ‘after all, I come from a tiny school. The competition wasn’t as big. How will I compete with the most talented?’ Event planning was an idea that kind of came to me and I thought to myself, “I like events. It seems like it would be a fun job. You get to be creative and you get to deal with people and you get to be at amazing, unique events.” But I did not choose my major because I was passionate about it, or because I had experience doing it and I was good at it. I went through college hoping that once I graduated I would like event planning, but I honestly tried to not think about it too much. I lived in the present, did the work I needed to do in class, didn’t enjoy any classes in my major but didn’t hate them, so I stayed where I was at.
I was able to still sing constantly. I sang in the worship band at my college Christian community every week, I took voice lessons once a week and sang in a Chorus almost everyday.
My Junior year I went on Semester at Sea; a study abroad program where you take classes on a cruise ship that circumnavigates the world. We visited 13 countries over 100 days. This trip was life changing. I was experiencing things I never had before. Living without technology (no phones or internet), having a hard time making close friends, feeling lonely at first, experiencing resentment towards my country (how good we have it yet how entitled we act), truly living in the moment and getting to know natives from countries, for the first time in my life not having a place to sing and most importantly, first hand seeing and realizing that happiness is not “the American Dream” but truly making gratitude a priority, aiming to please God, not people, and doing what you are passionate about; which will be what you are created to do. I had my first interactions with extreme poverty. I had conversations with people that had so little...and I could feel their joy and their gratitude so strong. It was truly life changing, putting two and two together. I knew that money did not equal happiness, but I didn’t see examples in front of me that proved it. I hadn’t gotten to know anyone of extreme poverty before.
There was this man in Dominica, the very first country we visited, and I got to get to know him. He was a driver who volunteered to drive a group of us around, showing us his favorite spots on the island. I asked him how he was the second day we were with him and I will never forget what he said. He said, “I am blessed. I am so blessed. I got to bring my son to school today.” I’ve never seen someone feel so grateful for something that most of us do not see as a gift. But you you know what? Life is a gift. God created us and gives us everything. Everything. The next breath we take is a gift.
This is Ken, the man in Dominica who I learned so much about gratitude:
After that experience I started to understand that joy wasn’t found in a secure job that you’re only half passionate about.
So I opened my ears to what God had to say about it. The only times I was able to perform on the ship was when I sang a duet at a talent show and when I directed and acted in a synchronized swimming routine (silent film, love story type thing, in a pool, to Vanessa Carlton’s ‘Thousand Miles.’ Those 2 experiences lit me up inside. I felt so happy. I was so full! I paid attention to those ‘signs.’ Sometimes we forget what we’re passionate about because we do it all the time. My whole life I was singing somewhere at least everyday, even if it was in the car along to the radio. Now I was in a position where I didn’t even have a car radio to sing along to. Oh how I took my passions for granted….
Synchronized swimming routine I directed and acted in:
My senior year of college I toyed around with the idea of doing something with music after college. I thought maybe singing on a cruise ship would be fun-since I found that I loved living on a ship and traveling the world. I talked with my voice teacher and he agreed that I needed to do something with my voice and this passion. I spent the year still being unsure though, after all, maybe I would like event planning? My last semester of college I was finally able to get into an acting class (that I had been trying to take since Freshmen year). I enjoyed this class so much. You know what? I realized it was truly the only class I ever looked forward to and didn’t want to end…out of my entire. college. career. God gave me another hint, hint….After finals I went up to my professor and told her how much I enjoyed class and how passionate I was about acting. She told me I had real talent and I should pursue it…
That was a crazy day. Graduation was a week away and I felt so confused. And scared. And lost. I felt God was saying…these AAARE your passions. These are what you’re supposed to pursue. I’m leading you to your calling. But I didn’t know the hows, and it was scary. What am I supposed to do now?
At graduation, David Boreanaz was the commencement speaker. He was a communications student as well, but after graduation he realized his passion was acting, so he moved to LA and slept on his sister’s couch. Now he stars on Bones. Hearing him say that was crazy. It was like God was saying, “look. He did it. You can do it. This is not a coincidence. I’m speaking to you.”
After graduation I remember opening my computer and was going to start applying for event planning jobs. I don’t think I even put once search in. I just couldn’t bring myself to apply for a single event planning job. I knew that wasn’t was I was supposed to do.
So I remembered that idea I had throughout senior year: to sing on a cruise ship. I got a hostessing job at a restaurant in my college town: Ithaca, NY. My plan was to once in a while take a 4 hour bus ride to NYC and audition for cruise ship singing jobs. I did it one time: for Cinderella on a Disney Cruise ship. I didn’t get it but it was a fun experience. Kind of a cattle call, one of tons of girls.
A couple months after graduation, in July I was called into a Saturday shift, unexpectedly. I never worked Saturdays. I seated this one gentlemen and we got talking away. Turns out he’s a big time movie producer who went to Ithaca College. He produced the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies. I ended up singing for him because the owner of the restaurant would ask me to randomly, spontaneously sing for friends of hers who were dining. After I sang he got very serious and he was like, “You must move to LA and pursue acting. I’m telling you. You have to. With your voice, your personality, everything. You have to. I have a friend who is an acting teacher. Go to his class. Here is my contact info. I’ll see you in LA.” He left and I remember my jaw was dropped, my eyes were huge and I was in shock. Why? Because I knew he was a messenger, showing me an open door. I knew this was a divine alignment and this was all God’s plan. I had that confident feeling inside that it. was. undeniably. God.
It was crazy because there was never any doubt from then on. It was this confident assurance that this was what I had to do. I am BEYOND blessed to have parents that didn’t question, or doubt. God knew I needed their belief in me. Their trust in me and in God reaffirms my faith in Him.
So a few months later, on November 7, 2012 I packed up my newly leased car, headed from Ithaca, my home for the past 4.5 years, stopped by my hometown in Andes, NY, and was on my way to Los Angeles, all by myself.
The story of my road trip out to Los Angeles is a story for another time but it is full of Godwinks, and crazy stories. God made it clear that I needed to make the journey by myself, and he made it clear why on the road.
I made it to Los Angeles about 2 weeks later and within a few days I attended the acting class that the movie producer said I must go to.
I attended acting class, went on some auditions, booked some small but exciting things (starred in a student film, was an extra in a couple things, including Entourage). It was incredible to be pursuing something that I was passionate. I was loving it. I was attending Reality LA Church and it was awesome. A few months after arriving to LA I felt a pull though, like I should try a different church or something, but I wasn't sure why.
At the same exact time a girl in my acting class told me about this church called MOSAIC. As she spoke about it I knew I needed to try it out, and see what its as about. A month later after flying back from a wedding in NY I randomly decided to check it out on Wednesday, May 22, 2014.
That day I found my home! I’ve never felt so much hope, so much love, so much joy, so much courage. I refuse to ever miss a midweek or Sunday, because there is so much LIFE and I just can’t miss out. There is so much God has to say through the pastors, there is so much celebration and beautiful worship. There are so many amazing people who inspire you to be your best self. At this church I found my calling and I decided to be all in, in my relationship with God. It was incredible to see how God put the movie producer in the restaurant in NY, to send me to the acting class to LA where a friend would tell me to go to MOSAIC where everything changed!!! Like a road map!...more of that later..back to the story. :)
Around the same time I started going to MOSAIC I one day had an urge to check out what singing and acting jobs Backstage.com had. (Backstage is a place where you submit for performance jobs). I had steered clear of anything singing related because I felt that since I came to LA for acting, that is what I should be focusing on, and I have sang my whole life so now was the time to take a break from it. That day I had a different perspective and was feeling open I suppose.
There was a post that said ‘EDM music Producer seeking new talent. Submit videos.’ I thought to myself, “Why not?.” And I submitted the only video I had of myself which was singing the national anthem at a college basketball game. I thought nothing of it, and assumed I wouldn’t be considered. I assumed they were looking for more of a singer/songwriter with a guitar or something. Not a soprano singing the national anthem. So I completely forgot about submitting.
Soon after I got a phone call saying out of hundreds I was chosen to meet the producer via Skype. I had a meeting with him and he said that he saw major potential in me as an artist and wanted me to come to NYC (where he was) and write and record a few songs, and go from there. He had produced and worked with a lot of big names, and has been very successful. After the interview I was overwhelmed with this feeling of ‘God. I’m pretty positive this is you again…leading me on a crazy adventure thats insanely exciting but risky and scary as well.” I felt that same way that I did in that restaurant in NY with the movie producer. That I “heard God’s voice.” I never got what that meant. Did people really audibly hear His voice? This is what it means to me…when you have this crazy, confident, sense and feeling that God is leading you somewhere and you need to follow. Something that others won’t hear because God is not speaking to them about it, He is speaking to you about your life and your adventure He’s taking you on.
I immediately told a bunch of friends about it and the reaction I got to my crazy excitement was skepticism, doubt and discouragement. So many of my friends assumed just from what I told them that it was a scam and that I should not go. I started to listen to them and believe them, grudgingly. I say grudgingly because deep down I knew what was God’s voice. I knew that I was supposed to trust and have faith. I started ignoring the phone calls of the producer’s assistant. I did my research though and found that the producer was indeed who he said he was, very legit, and truthful. So I didn’t lose my chance, as I almost did! I agreed to come to NY the following month and create and record music for the first time ever!
...To be continued.......
